Christ-mas

Ita been a wild an amazing week, of trying to celebrate the ressurection of the Lord. But i pretty sure it should always be my focus, remebering How Jesus rose from the dead. This is pretty fliping fantabulous~ an the most exciting thing ....is that He still is alive an well, willing to move in the hearts an lives of us! ain't that something!

I was reading a book by Bill Johnson, an it had some phrase like, God wants us to experiance who he is.. The it went something like if we just believe from others testimonies an are fine with the fact that their true... but then not willing to allow God to move like that in my life.. Do you really belive their true.. an if u do why would He not want the same for your life?

Hm maybe its tricky to get but maybe not... But the profound thought that came to me... is if i believe in GOd & believe his word; Then thier must be a depth of trusting GOd for more- I know when God first called me in missions in 2004; there was this radicle jump of faith.. where i had no money or no clue what type of jump i was taking but it meant leaving everything for the Hope of believing God had a awesome plan for my life-
This passion for the Lord, wasn;t a jump of immediate whoa i love the Jesus thing but a revelation of a call from God... I think when Gods lays things on our heart, or literally calls us into a certain level of obediance an trust... You have the choose to say yeh lord, or the too walk the opposite way
I wonder what it would have been if it didn't obey the call of Jesus...
I can't imagine how different i would be, an how different my faith in GOd would be.
I relate to the life of JAcob alot, because he chose to find God not by others word or following people, but Jacob himself, had a life of meeting with GOd by acts of faith an just moving forward. Depsite all the drama of Jacob getting the blessing and everything, I see him as a man who found God for himself, through so many experiances.

And i think that what God intends for us, to find God in the midst of everything in life! To invite him in the hard the happy an the crazt times .. cause he desires to reveal his self so much also.

I forget sometimes how awesome this God :) And i guess it takes me stepping out of my comfort an control zone, to say yes to casting my everything at his feet, so that He can make it perfect~ While obeying him when He say no ...or go.. or.. yes!
Believing this life is not about me only, but the GOd who had the intension of bringing me here~

Lastly is the desire for the top... I think its human nature to want to be well off to be known as something and to be totally comfortable in life~
While when we look at the life of Jesus,(the GOd of the universe!!) Its completely the opposite, in Philippians 2:6-12 it says;

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very naturea God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very natureb of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Shining as Stars

12Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

THis it pretty outstanding to realize this is the GOd we are called to follow, And i'm sometimes distraught that still we don't get it! I mean what more could have God have done to show us, that there more to life then making a idol of ourselves. I'm really challenged by Christs life, but even more that He knew the fathers love... And mean how can you obey GOd so deeply if you don't know his love.
How can you trust anyone if you don't know their love.. Right So i'm guessing its a backward thing... Know GOds love..
Which will help you; ..Trust & honor Him~

Why did Christ decide to do the whole cross thing...
one he knew GOds love
two he knew what was on Gods heart
three he knew that his life was to be a redemption story... for those who were waiting for a messiah & lead them in freedom! while at the same time He came to those who didn't know they needed a savior:)

So i guess knowing that your life has a purpose in Christ too! knowing that it begins with understnading that your loved immesely by the Lord..

Soap i guess it's being in his love that, his plan unfolds:)

Welp thats it for the moring somehow, i still have more christmas early dinners to go to... i think this is dinner #3.. crazy. i hope its not ham:)jk

merry christmas:)!?

SO once again another time of not writing consistantly, it must be the weather:)

So yesterday was quite a day i guess.Work was fine an loved the sun shining all day out side by the lake:) smiles for sure

While knowing my brother was coming home an my freind havin a get to gether with some gals i havn't seen for a bit~
These all seem like good times, an christmas music just adds that touch right. But there sometimes i wish the season would pass by. People seems so artifitial an willing to do whatever to please other people so that Chrsitmas would be good. But is it possible when theres still much termiol thats never been delt with. Seriously do u think a week of fuzzy snowmen an fake christmas trees with patch the heartbreak, the dissapointments and the lies.
Well i'de say no why would it?

but then i glance again, at the meaning of the time... what a awesome time to have reconciliation in those parts of your life in which are waiting for healing!

I'm such a jerk i think.. well from my past i would call myself one.. just because now i love confrontation now. Before i would ignore it. But i really think that, people should tak these times of getting together to be real with each other!

So first 3 minutes of fam getting together argueing already, i'm thinking how the hec can i get the through this next wk! I can't anylonger just ignore additudes an words being spoken....... Can we at least consider each other!!!

Next. my freind says she's feeling suicidal after a hard breakup, i don't realy understand it all, but it sadden me that such amazing young lady could come to that place:( I hadn'e seen her for a very long time, an she has always been a awesome freind an gift from GOd to me. she was my first christian freind at 16. She has been through so much junk sence i saw her last. I mean, i think its a miricle she is still alive, bc of the things that happened to her:(

I guess what i'm getting at is depsite this time of year when everyone so focused on trying to give the right thing or be the right thing, i guess it comes down to love.
We all need it:) and i hope that the world won't forget Jesus, an how despite what we tryto find in the world, there is always a King waiting to be are everything!

What i put my trust in other then God can surely sweep away.. i really desire to know him more this season, instead of what i don't have or what i need to get! Or whoever i believe i have to please.. because my life is no longer mine, but belongs to God!
What pleases God is a heart set on him:)

whole hearted~!

Do u ever feel like u need to get hit on the head with a bamboo stick?
sorta like what the crazy monkey guy did in lion king..lol random

I feel like i was hit tonight~ Ger.....................
I wish i wasn't so lame at beliving the things of God~

So The Lord has been speaking me about a few different things , 'what i tihink as big things'.. yet i've been putting them aside, thinking that won't happen or maybe someother time, doesn't look good right now.
while then seeking him for more of the picture!!! How lame am i right~ Seriously lame ASS, an i never even say that!
I guess i'm just beating myself up for not being obediant! Like yes GOd to the things that are ssmall an seem possible, but wait GOd.. on the things that seem too big, or out of my mind~

Like hello did GOd not part the sea~

3 years ago during a worship session in Kona, i was praying to God about the bible outreach that was coming up, an whether i was going to the right place, an how the hec the money was going to show up..:) Just one of those places of dependency, an hunger for GOds voice:) Me going to thailand seems sorta huge especially having no money at the time:)
While at the end of worship the Holy SPirit was really encouraging me to believe and trust.. i was on my knees jsut surrendering and as i opened my eyes,.. there laying in front of me was bamboo of a tree.. No joke in the middle of the Ohana court in front of me was bamboo little peices~@!!! Right away i felt like God was reassuring me of his promise, that when he speaks something He's will make it happen:) In thailland, the phillipine an indonesia i saw bamboo~
I knew God was encouraging me through a small miricle...i mean where else did it come from? No one else had any!

Oh an you bet... will God let me run away from his call to me on this sorta big event~
Hec no... though i seem to ignore it, i mentioned it to a freind tonight>an he of course:) reassured me of the good old, "sometimes God calls you to do really big things, bc He wants to do the impossible..."
Okay isn't this what my life has al been about-
Why did i have to hear from soemone else to let it seek into my heart!

Ger.. i'm disapointed with my lack of faith! Yet I pray that GOd would let me have huge faith to move your kingdom, when he gives me opportunity to use it, an i ignore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm totatly a loser right now:)

LOL okay over it now... but seriously... WHy do i or people have to go in circles instead of going toward the target^
I know i have avery western mind set, where if u want something u say yes or no. Unlike some places saying yes first is inpolite an even sayin no 3 times can be showing respect. But hello. me not in india! Nor does GOd work that way!( or does he..hm)

Cut to the chase. Follow God an seek him for what he's put on your heart an mind. Never let a yellow flower get away unsmelled it may just have the scent to heal the nantions.......(that was a very deep statement) hehe

anyhow.. i havn't blogged for awhile.. neat things have been happening and I'm realizing more an more- That god is in control!
That the moments that seem random usually arn't, and the way to change your heart is to understand GOds~

- Oh lastly.. the 3rd coolest thing i ever saw happen when i was there for my sisters birth~ I love the state of birth, not quite for me:) but seeing how Life begins, an GOds complex creation in it all id brilliant... Gosh He's so dang smart!~

I also have been mum for a couple days while sister wasin hospital... i loved watching my nephew, despite his crazy energy an putin his hand in my cherrios.. He is a delight to hang with. I love that he's so free, an has so much love an joy:)

Randomly... i was upset with something someone said to me early in the morning, an hadn't processed it all day.. now all of sudden my lil nephew became anoying to me...( an this is so not like my character) So i asked GOd, Lord why am i so upset anoyed at this little wild child... Then The Lord showed me what was really anoying me... the statement someone said to me earlier.. I knew i dind't delt with it an no was effectin how i felt bout my lil prince - So i began to to say a prayer of forgiveness to this person, an despite what they said was mean an not in love, i needed ot forgive them! It was sorta sad, bc i love this person very much an to see them hurt me an not even care, was anoying~ BUt i knew that Jesus doesn't want me to carry that pain... SO i gave it to him- Right then, i sorta had a tear or too:) an my nephew(1.5yrs) came running to me with toilets paper!!!!!! And put it in my face:) It was the most beautiful thing ever, how the hec did he pull that off!.. not sure especally the bathroom not being very close by either! but just for the first time experiance sympathy from a lil baby boy~
I knew that if Jesus was visibly there he'd b doing thesame thing. God understand the hard emotions an what it takes to forgive those who wronged u! an i have to remember it's bc of his grace an love that i can forgive....
Not saying i'm perfect an never harmed anyone but~ i just really appreciate How God desires us to be free from the things that hold us down! & So we can live freely:)
the end of the story goes, i all of the suden was released from this irratance, an was all aboat playing with the lil guy:) Whole heartedly~
Okay the end~!

God, compels us to seek him~& know his love& will

So i'm waken with the most amazing song:)
How deep the fathers love for us~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!

Its just what i needed to hear an remember, That my daddy loves me! I know this but need to remember it~ No matter what God loves me. Nothing in this world is more beautiful then his love!

I then have been repeating this verse that i heard during Julie's talk about reaching the millions of children on the street, in india, china an africa, an soo on! CHRISTS LOVE COMPELS US!
! Corinthians 5:13-21

If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. 14For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

16So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 18All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21God made him who had no sin to be sina for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

I really stand on this verse! ITs all bout him!and what he did, it is an never want it to b about me!

I need his Spirit to be my guide an everything, bc I'm GOds friend he's right beside me too!

I'm bombarded at also what was preached at churchSunday, while just got a meail ffrom a missionary who also shared the same message, About What Jesus an his followers were to be about>
The Year of the Lord’s Favor= Isaiah 61:1

1The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,a
2to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.
4They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.
5Aliens will shepherd your flocks;
foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.
6And you will be called priests of the LORD,
you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
and in their riches you will boast.
7Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.
8“For I, the LORD, love justice;
I hate robbery and iniquity.
In my faithfulness I will reward them
and make an everlasting covenant with them.
9Their descendants will be known among the nations
and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
that they are a people the LORD has blessed.”
10I delight greatly in the LORD;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
11For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise
spring up before all nations.

Yesterday, i was praying while driving an was like GOd i want to come up to the next level, let me draw closer to you an your goal in my life~ Let nothing distract or say no to the things that are in your mind~ I know i can do all things through you!
Whether its waiting, interceeding, or ministering where ever i go, i am willing to go, an stay:) I think God has greta vsions an dreams for his bride, but it takes faith to see them come into action~
His gas is faith, and obediance~

When no one is moving closer an closer to GOds glory an plans- it sucks up GOds SPirit, it ay where the Spirit of the Lrod is there is freedom! Freedom is a fruit of Gods SPirit! Freedom to come an go, freedom to obey God, rather please man~
God definatley is comeing back soon, whether is be before i die or not, i feel a urgency for missions right now, an pray the church would arise and come up to the next level of obediance and perseverance!

God began speaking to me about his Spirit some more this morning;
We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing. 7No, we speak of God’s secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. 8None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. 9However, as it is written:

1 Cor 2:9-16.. mainly 16

“No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him”b—
10but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.

The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 11For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man’s spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. 13This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words.c 14The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. 15The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man’s judgment:

16“For who has known the mind of the Lord
that he may instruct him?”d
But we have the mind of Christ.

God entrusts us to depend on him an his Spirit, to take it not for granted. To obey and believe, i'm so grateful for his Spirit which leads us into God's mind, i pray we the body of Christ would wait before GOd and seek him an his thoughts

Amen, some random beats for the morning:)
Gosh so exciting to be in the days of the Lord!
breakfast here i come:)

the depth within a soul

The God hears the cry upon the needy
ps 72:12, "For he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help."

So havn't bloged for a bit:) but this Saterday was global missions day.At the prayer house there were alot of awesome speakers an times of worship, including the girl i was watching bringing her lil battery opporated walking dog on stage..lol it was terribly funny! I was playing congo's an well she was worshiping an dancing in the front, then took her dog an walked it on the front of the stage...... gosh if there was ever a cuter moment then that, don't know, all the people there were, so loving though. and just continued into worship. After a few minutes of getin my kick of it, came of stge an took her remote controled dog away, an told her she'll have it later. It was interesting though to see her do that, all day i alowed her to have it an she didn't press the bark or the walk button. Bc i told her it would b gone. I knew i had to allow her to show me she was able to b responsible for self control. But right wehn i left her an played congo's, she acted up!

That night when i had time to breathe an look back on the day, i asked her why she did that. i was expeted her usually silly answers, like the dog wanted ot walk or, i was bored, or i don't know.. Yet she said, 'i wanted to make u laugh.' In other words i need your attention. She sure did make me laugh! I love this girl so much, an if it were possible would adopt her in a heart beat. But for now God has just showned me the love he has for her, an also my self in this situation.
During this particular set of worship it was very much alive an fun an just loving on Daddy. It was all bout GOds great love an exceptance! How we can be free in Him, an be free in worship! When she went up an did that; everyine excepted her, except maybe one of the worship leaders::) lol but she's ove rit now.. (she likes things to go as planed) But, wow how much God loves an has compassion on us! Even while we were sinners it say(bible )in Roman 5, how he died for us! this is so remarkable:) Even though we may not be fully mature an doing things, as 'right' he still loves an excepts us.

Another aha moments of the day- There was a lady from BRazil who was so beautiful! She shared on her part in missions, an particulary felt led to share her testimony~Man knock me off my seat! I've heard met an worked umong a few prostitutes before, alot of times it was at the end of they still were or just geting out, but not a lady/ man who've stop for mnay years an now serving the Lord. this was her story, Eva, was born from a poor family and very disfunctual,she eventually moved with a another lady bc she was able to take care of her~ This lady made her do many chores epsecialy cleaning , during her stay their the lady taugh the girl to read. Mainly to understand the bible! eva hated bing forced to read it when she was young~
As she got a little bit older an out of school, she needed money for lving on her own. Still she was poor, and wasn't able to get anywhere. Her family have now moved an she pretty much was alone in a city.
She tried to find job, but not luck. She had heard of a the ladies of the streets, an chose that path as a way!!!!!!`

btw. this breaks my heart~ to hear some one have to make such at terrible decision like that. People look down an frown upon these women, an men, while those who do, perhaps ahve never been in this situation~
Eva said everynight she would feel horrible for all that she had done, an dirty, But prayed everynight to God.

She earned lots of money this way, an eventually found a place to live an invited her family to live with her, as they had pret much nothing too. Eva was what everyone thought to b a normal girl during the day, but night her secret haunted her!
She would go to church, an ask for forgiveness, an felt so ashamed, an useless.

eventually she came to apoint of this is enough God, i can't keep living a 2 way walk with u. She needed a way out!
She began to remember how she was a amazing cleaning lady, SO decided to open a business of cleaning an stop the strrets!
Through this she began to expand her walk through Christ an hear about ministries to reaching out to those workin the streets. She felt God call her to go back an minister to those people. Within many years, They ebagn to open a shelter for these ladiess, an share the love an hope in chrst! Eva then somehow met, (one of the other speakers we had Julie form mozambique)
She heard bout julies ministry to also the needy, an became a translator for her! Through this an ever since they have been doing al sorts of ministry, not together always but serving the Lord. Eva married a british man the Lord brought before her in Portugul an have been married ithink what 15-20 yrs now. She has a heart an a calling to go back to Brazil an open another ywam base there, reaching out to the poor an needy there!

How cool to see How God an his love an forgiveness transformed a lady's life!

I pray GOd would release a spirit of compassion upon the body of Christ to look at the needy an hurting and respond with love~
I hear so much about young an older women, in prositution~ Or maybe not labled that, but struggling in this area of sex for money or sex for an love an exceptance~ I can't stand when people lookdown upon them, infact i have some as friends~
They r beautiful, but even to bring it home brighter, beautifully broken:(
Ask one; an you'll surely find abbuse, neglect, and all sorts of hardships that have led them this way. I know Jesus has compassion upon them, and am sick of people judging them!
(john ch4) There was a certain women at the well whom Jesus met there in the middle of the day, a time back then pehaps when people didn't fetch water bc of the heat, but some reason this lady was there at that time..
Story goes as Jesus begin to share to this lady that this water can't not satify her, an that the water Jesus can give her can give eternal life, that she'l never be thirsty again!
This lady jumps on the offer, while then Jesus confronts her with sin! She has many men in her life( perhaps a type of prostitute back then an would answer a ? why she would be at the well when no one else was there, as she would b looked down upon)
Any hows; The story ends by this lady being a evangalist for Jesus, proclaiming to other sameriatans what Jesus had said. And many believed an became Christ followers.

But the fact of the matter as u read this story, God offered her living water? an the lady chose it!
When she left the well she also left her water jar scriptures say. It deosnt' mention too much on everything she had done, or even changed. But Because jesus talked to a lady that everyone looked down upon- A great heart was retored an given hope!Of a GOd who knew her an cared for her:)
I think this is a cry in every generation. Does anyone care, can anyone help..? Is there hope?

For this lady; i believe she understood more of Jesus's love, an i believe she became a friend of his:)
THe scriptures state that after the lady went back an shared the people wanted Jesus to stay. He stay 2 days sharing with them, an many believe in Him! in other words many were saved, many eyes were open to truth!!!
Truth of a prostitute being just as important as a rich man~
The Truth that many need to hear the good news of Jesus-

Lastly; one of the moments i find most profound in this passage is God testify's who He was to the lady at the well.
Many times h dind't right away say who he was, and told people not to share. While he personally testifies i who speak to you, am he, (the messiah!) He knew she needed a savior.....and was at a place of excepting him not just for show or condemnation but in a revelation that her life she was living was going no where but down!

I believe also God's heart beats for ladies out there r in need of a savior, an condemning an making rude comments bout them won't do it. Don't tell a lady to stop wearing a short skirt an a bare to nothing top, before u except her as a human being, possibly crying for something. anything~ I praise GOd i'v never been down this road but am willing to lay down my life to stand for ladies who have never heard of the love of Christ! even if it means hanging out with those society shrudders bout...Because my Daddy led Jesus to do it, because he loved them~

I don't know why i'm sharing this much, but i feel there is a lost generation of Christs followers bc we judge them instead of show them compassion. Lord teach us compassion~

glad this wk end went good, i wasn't how sure it would end, whether the lady i rent for would b right, an the girl i had over would burn the house down, But went extremely good while stretching. I also am astonished how much this little girl taught me! She had some amazing revelations from GOd, that were so simple yet profound! 8yrs old i'm talking bout.
my favorite one, The devil can't listen to worhsip music:)...:)

thanks bc of Him

ps36 5-13
5Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the skies.
6Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,
your justice like the great deep.
O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.
7How priceless is your unfailing love!
Both high and low among men
findb refuge in the shadow of your wings.
8They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.
9For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light we see light.
10Continue your love to those who know you,
your righteousness to the upright in heart.
11May the foot of the proud not come against me,
nor the hand of the wicked drive me away.
12See how the evildoers lie fallen—
thrown down, not able to rise!

i now wear ribbons~

i thought it'd b cool to write a novel; on a girl/lady who experianced pain her whole life, and experianced freedom through Jesus. Like she never knew there was healing or peace~ random thought.. only probally cause going through some tooth pain an knowing there is healing an peace in the future !

I'm thinking of the women who had just touched jesus's garmets an was healed immediatly. she suffered for so long then was healed~ I have glimpses of GOd healing me in different areas of life, but to hear that testimony an how it has effected her life would b amazing.
Sometimes in the bible you don't hear the full story, but pieces of people lives and how GOd effected them greatly! I want to know how the lady was different after her healing?! i want to know if she was there when Jesus was being crucified, i want to know if her family began to follow Christ. I want to hear her laugh, an hear her testify for what Great thing he's done!

I want to hear her new daily struggles, an hear how she now reacts to them~
Just random thoughts:)

This is part of the story of Jesus healing!

Mark 5:21-43 Dead Girl and a Sick Woman

21When Jesus had again crossed over by boat to the other side of the lake, a large crowd gathered around him while he was by the lake. 22Then one of the synagogue rulers, named Jairus, came there. Seeing Jesus, he fell at his feet 23and pleaded earnestly with him, “My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live.” 24So Jesus went with him.

A large crowd followed and pressed around him. 25And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. 26She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. 27When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, 28because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” 29Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

30At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”

31“You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’”

32But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. 33Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. 34He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”

35While Jesus was still speaking, some men came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue ruler. “Your daughter is dead,” they said. “Why bother the teacher any more?”

36Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”

37He did not let anyone follow him except Peter, James and John the brother of James. 38When they came to the home of the synagogue ruler, Jesus saw a commotion, with people crying and wailing loudly. 39He went in and said to them, “Why all this commotion and wailing? The child is not dead but asleep.” 40But they laughed at him.

After he put them all out, he took the child’s father and mother and the disciples who were with him, and went in where the child was. 41He took her by the hand and said to her, “Talitha koum!” (which means, “Little girl, I say to you, get up!”). 42Immediately the girl stood up and walked around (she was twelve years old). At this they were completely astonished. 43He gave strict orders not to let anyone know about this, and told them to give her something to eat.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrLLDk3ZLt0

igloo:)

k. God is faithful

This morning, i walked up stairs, an saw snow! U'de think it be a perfect day right. well it was:)

Not bc of the snow, but bc was able to accoplish bunch of things on my agenda and was able to enjoy it~

Nothing to profound to share but just am thankful; for the people GOd has placed in my life~

I'm thankful for Gods amazing faithfulness, i'm thankful for his promises~ I'm thankful theres a place pain free called Heaven!
I'm thankful, that thats wher ei'm destine to be, with my Daddy:) I'm thankful that he carries me when i think i can't do it~ and lifts me up, when i think things r pointless>

But really my tooth hurts alot , have some greta GOd stories to share but can't concentrate- all i have to say he's faithful and i love him! Have alot going on this wkend an believe his grace will carry me through this pain~

something tells me i've believed alot of lies my life, an know some people who have to. this breaks my heart to see people living in bondage. When no one guides you to truth, an while presents life in one way mentality; people can't see the light an don't believe in it! But i believe Jesus has great plans for each one of his children, including i:) And believing is the most important part~! Meetinga russian dental assistant; in IR, with a love for GOd an trust- just reminds me he can do anything in yourlife when your open to his ways, an choose trust then fear~
I'm sur eits hard living here, leaving her family, an such; but she trusted an loved her husband. Like that i totally desire to place God the head of my life ~ and see his ways~!

I know i'm home for awhile for alot of unkknown reasons, but also alot of known. I'm clueless if He is going to release me again into more missions. But i know he's given me a heart for here, an interceeding for USA! But really beyond me doing things, he's allowed me to see His glory n love in may ways~ He keeps pressing me on too his dreams for me an i love it! but it requires patiance and alot of laughing!!!

thanks God for playn the strings on my guitar:)

obtw! another ptl! frends daughter ciara, made a picture of my dog a few months ago in a igloo dog house! i was like that would b so cool to get one. Then i thought i may have to get rid of her, but my parents decided to take her:) Then i was hoping an sorta Hopi God would provide a igloo. Then i' looked at stores an they all were 100$ -200$.. i'm like c'mon.. then randomly was thrown to a website who showed someone was selling a dog igloo for 25$ bucks!!!!!!! in petoskey! Gosh i'm so happy! God provided this beautiful dog, an now He helped me find the house i desired for her to have, at a price i really desired:)~)
simple moments of GOds faithfulness, keeps moving me forward~

lalah at work

Tom's mom's cookies still top of the charts!

had a chocalate chip peppermint one, was fabtabulous,with the minor exception that my tooth still hurts..lol
prob shouldn't eat until i guess it fixed. Okay erase that eat junk food:( But they probally needed my business today..hehe good excuse~
R u familair with tom' mom's? well check out their website:)
http://www.tomsmomscookies.com/index.phtml

Other then that, been trying to stay busy at my ma's shop today, but seriously u can only fold jeans so many times. I tend to break out in dance every other minute, the best is when people r looking in the window~ u'de think they want to come in:)
But its neat to converse with friends around the world online. I read from my freind david, today he is in sierre Leane gosh i can't spell this> BUt anyways, he's been in missions for a while, and now finds himself in a really challenging situation~ i sorta can relate with him, going to a country(obeying GOd) an being new at everything, while at the same time being harrassed by the spiritual atmosphere, Can really bring you down.

I think this can happen anywhere though-

So whats the answer; for me having people you can share what your going thorugh with to pray with you..or Come to a place of adoring Jesus~ To take your eyes off yourself, an upon your creator the love of you,life, brings so much peace~ in the phillipines i went through this for a breif moment, i wanted to go home:( an became angry at stupid things. While all the time GOd was doing a owkr there an a work in my life~

Through the struggle an pain, and many unanswered ?'s God alowed me to experiance his love in way i've never done before!
I became to realize no matter what God is with me. He began to place very special people in my life, who loved on me an served me. An i thought i was the missionary, lol Thats where missions is wrong, its not always bout serving, but just being obediant to what Jesus says.
I injured my foot an it became almost infected there, i was out for 2wks! an those weeks r the most precios to me in all my trips an places. bc i found a place of rest, in the midst of trials an uncertain~
I couldn't move bc of pain so phiipino missionaries cam in an served me so kindly an giving! i mean they even brought me pizza hut! like what the hec! izza hut i didn't know they had this:)
I asked GOd why I was spose to come to Phillippines, He said i wast you to see the people i love. I know GOd loves every one But somehow, he desired me to see things that were on his heart~ I began to pray for the country while i was down, an prepare for my teaching 2.5wks down the road. I prayed God please let my foot heal at least enough for me to teach. the day i was spose to leave it was all better!

Praise GOd.. I went to another town an taught thessalonians to a bible school, an afterward had a chance to meet the guy who fisrt shared Jesus to me, for he was there too on a short term mission trip!
The crazy part is a couple years ago i prayed to see him, duncan fom England, to let him know it was bc of his testimony, i now come to Christ! I'm like God if thats your will please make it happen..4 yrs ago then 2 years later i'm there!!!!!
the story how i even decided to go there is even more God radicle~ includes me writing philippines an not even knowing i did, an various dreams, on saying philipines 6weeks.. lol Incredible this GOd who loves me and remembers me despite my imperfections~:)

Okay that was alot of blerbering..
So pray for David in SL~! He needs breakthrough, and prayer for Sudan, bc it needs lots of it!
I'm out~!~

God told people in the old testament ot have monuments of remembrance. They used stones, or wells and other random iteams.

I'm realizing that remembering the past it shines more that God has plans n the future! Also by learning from the past you can be more effective in the future.. at least thats what u'de think:)

anti iching cream:)

The ache, or ich
Sometimes i don't realize how much i miss my sister, but just go on each day, forgeting everything she was too me. I don't like this. I wish i'de spend more time reflecting bout the times we had. She meant so much to me when she was here. My eldest sister and a mom to me. Its weird thinking what she'd look like now, or being doing, and her journey with Jesus would look like.
I often forget how i lost my big sister, but also how my now big sister lost her big sis also.
I'm so glad that i can b there for vik this time as she's going through her 2nd kid/ pregnaucy. I know its hard not having Zandee to be there also.

The ich an ache; is what my fav pastor step called wehn your missing something an can't figure it out.. It leads to going too the world to fill it.
Most of the times it can just b u don't kknow jesus an his love, others times it can be things you've lost an desired to b back to normal.

I'm remebered tonight, of Zandee, and know this is a ich for me, i desire so much to see her again an wonder what she's say~ GOd has promised me i'de see her agian, an that she belives in my life here. I worship GOd that he is the answer to the ichs, an aches; when we come to him, he desires to fill us up in his love an words....
Thanks God for being the center of my life~!

Surrender~

oh why oh why do i forget sometimes that i've surrendered my life to Jesus~!:)

Seriously though, like thats a pretty important thing to remember daily right. I'm no longer mine own, by he is the new captain of this ship~

Again was hit with my never ending trust issues... i need to get over like a leader use to say alot, just get over it.

But while in a rush to get to the bank, but going to stop for a cup of joe real quick..... I ran into a old freind who i met through my mom. She owned a store next to my moms. NAyways. She'd always talk bout new agey things, an be reading the newest self help from budda books:)
I never mentioned my faith to her, or rebuked her for her search.. Bu one day she said there was something different about me. That when she was with me she felt at peace...

I was so excited when she said this, becuase i was praying for a moment to share Jesus to her, for she was going through a togh time. she knew i was a chritain an missionary, but not by me sayin it but my mom:)
nay how the whole summer after she alowed me to tell her about Jesus and the peace an healing and hope he brings, We would talk an share the crazieness that life threw at us.. I then was off to missions again. Leaving at a place where she now was church searching an trying to connect with those who arn't everyday hard drinkers an materialistic, like her past was..

anyways; i never have seen her for a couple years. And ran into to her!!!!!

For the first time she was totally different, i saw a face change, a new vibe from her, like not worried or frantic. But peace~
She said oh tedi....(even though my name was changed..) she said, 2 years ago i gave my life over to christ! For 2 years i havn't touch alcohol! I surrendered my life to Jesus, and i've never felt so good in my life!

I was stoked, how the holy spirit had led her to truth an love and forgiveness, i could have cried but bc i was in a hurry i played it safe. i think. think i'll cry later.lol
But this just really spoke to me bout surrender!;ok katies here were watching funny people..

Adious. Merry christmas.lol

more then the expected!

DREAMSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

this year a dream was fulfilled, with in that dream more began to develop.


Now am seeing how a dream can grow into a vision

I'm so thankful for God who works on my behalf~!~

even though theres lots oof waiting an patiance, when the time is right, the vision falls to place!

Praise GOd!

yesus christos

So sometimes.... doesn't aways make sence
But if it did, i wonder if i would depend so much on faith..:)

So where trusting God on a invisible path, means letting go of al preconceived ideas of trust in which led to being broken~
Learning to trust agian~hm
trust God.. even a bigger hm:)

But i guess it makes so much sence, while it looks so twirly:)

My God always present an does't leave when things get tough, in fact draws closer:)

My God has everything to do with my life; even when i feel like i'm in control:)

My God walks with me to dark places, showing me where the need is for light.

My GOd, must get frusterated sometimes, but instead of me complaining about it. He offers grace and hopes for peace~

My GOd talks to people an invites them to partake in a incredible adventure of faith, even while i may not read it like a novel, i see his purpose in each tear he shed on the cross~

My God He's good, and believe his love will outshine anything.

I'm so grateful to know Him, and pray i'de trust him more an more:)

come to the water u who thirst an u'll thirst no more:)

Isaiah 55 >>
NIV
Invitation to the Thirsty

1“Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
2Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
3Give ear and come to me;
hear me, that your soul may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
4See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a leader and commander of the peoples.
5Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations that do not know you will hasten to you,
because of the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor.”
6Seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
7Let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
8“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
9“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
13Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD’s renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed.”

God r u enough?

The Lords been challenging me is He enough? Going to focus in on this for a while. Believe alot of things can discourage me an other beiivers, but coming back to a place, of saying GOd you are more then enough. Is a place of victory~!
Luke 5

The Calling of the First Disciples

1One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret,a with the people crowding around him and listening to the word of God, 2he saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. 3He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat.

4When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let downb the nets for a catch.”

5Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”

6When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. 7So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.

8When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” 9For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, 10and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners.

Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will catch men.” 11So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him

God showed Peter life with him; would be more then enough!

Pressure~!~!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i doubled that exclamation.. hold on a little more then that!

So today at church Pastor talked a bit bout this. how Jesus sometimes was in pressure situations an how he always responded with answers that were full of faith an of the Father. How he didn't rush any where. How he didn't necessirily care how everyone like him. Or what they thought. He had enemies who dind't approve, an followers who strongly approved-

With that, I totally have came to this place again... an it seems like i come here at least once a month..
Pressure, i tend to pressure my self way to much
i tend to recieve other peoples pressure way to much
I tend to act by pressure instead of wisdom-

Think i'm being a tad dramatic.. i'm not that crazy but just had this moment of what the hec... My life is mine, an i will live not by others standards or opions or approval, but Gods.

I've lived this many times an think i do good at it, but am glad they spoke on it today, bc it was almost hedging its way back in my heart........ The world is like spinning(truth), and i'm to live in it an not get dizzy! lol how do u do this?
Well its knowing your mission, and knowing who your following:) and who's your team:)

My calling has nothing to do with making people feel good or me feeling good. But being more an more like Christ to the world- which in that alone, means obediant- And confident in who i am. I'm not to be like others but like Christ. and when i talk to GOd bout this he tells me He wants me to have heart like his, but to be the women He's created me to be. It won't ever be Christ an may not even look like who he was or did. But being myself in the midst of a world that tries to tell u who u r to be, an if u make it or mis it~

Pressure...............
their were times when i've failed............to the world yes.......... to God noooo!

Pressure.....
being a freind when it means not being there for them

Pressure.......
Not being on time when the appointment says 1, an u have probllem at home that needs care-

Pressure.......
a neighbor needs a lift and your already late for work

Pressure...........
the class wants it this way, when u have already desided how it was going to be

Pressure............
Praying for a random person, while not knowing what they'll think, or if praying for a healing, it would b healed

Pressure........
Going into news place an new people, and being labeled by the shoes u wear, or the way you laugh, or the stupid things u wish u did or dind't say

Pressure........
Parents releying on you to be something that you were never to be

Pressure.............
new cars, new diomond rings...................

Pressure.................
A feeling of impact on my mind which tells me i have to act immedietly~
BUT because i trust in God, i don't need to believe fast dramatic lies which will try to drain me and hinder what my real mission is.Or what currently i'm to do........
Instead of the pressure, i have to wait on him in prayer. Where his will is my vision, an my vision collides in his will.

Hm randoms for the night.............theres good pressure an bad pressure, learing to act where the peace is, an trust despite the effects

in his garden..love it!

What the Lord was speaking to me early today~
ps 92:12
The godly shall flourish like palm trees, and grow tall as cedars of Lebanon.
For they are transplanted into the lords own garden, and are under his personal
care. Even in old age they will still produce fruit an b ital an green. This honors
the Lord and exibits his fithful care, He is my shelter. Theres nothin but goodness in him!

So its late an i can't sleep, i have a million an one songs in my head to write but to tired to jot down, an seriosly illiteret when it comes to tuning my guitar!!!!!ger

I'm at place of being dependant on GOd. Even though i think i've been for a very long time. I'm realizing more an more how, when i'm at this place.. I'm really happy:) I realize that each day makes sence- An if i doesn't, it does in his eyes..lol

I listen to a song today, an old song we use to sing in art class an pertend we thought enrique eiglasious was hot..lol
I can be your hero baby song...An it clicked to me, How this is GOds whisper in our ears daily. i can be your hero!
Its awesome to think that this amazing GOd. Wants or even desires to be there for me when i can't do it on my own.
I'm so glad he understands me, an puts me in place of waiting trusting an desiring him. Because i would not understand him-
He's in control, and i love it! its that simple...
In my heart i'm feriated at so much injustice an pain in the world. But when i remember the crss, an the suffering Jesus went through it remeinds me.. this life is not what its all about...
GOd is love an GOd is just

By the way. My nephew is amazing i babysat him today an i just fall more an more in love wiht him. I'm so thankful for the time GOd is giving me to get to know an see this little bugger... tried to teach him how to line dance today. was adorable. He then pulled out his fake revolver an began shooting.. My sister an dave, have come a long way. i'm so proud of them, an really glad they are good parents who desire the best for their children. ..
okay i think i can sleep now.. weird how tping makes me tired.. lol

bobble~

2 peter 1:5-6
"Do your best to ADD to holy living to your faith. Then add to this better understanding. As you have better undertanding be able to say no when you need to.Do not give up but as you wait, an not give up, live God- like."

The alabaster jar:)

Something GOd was really showing me today..........
The heart behind her actions.....


Mathew 26:6 While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, 7a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.

8When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. “Why this waste?” they asked. 9“This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.”

10Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. 11The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. 12When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. 13I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”

I desire to be this women of faith an love...And feel like GOd is saying it okay to be this women, more then okay:)
Sometimes i feel as though i don't have alot, not that i need alot but sometimes the world around u keep tellin u need to be more, have more, do more, ect. But some how this women knew that Jesus, was worth giving her most expensive possession:)

When i think about my most expensive possesion, i really think about my time, dreams, desires and so on. Nothing i own i look at as expensive,bc alot of it had been GOds gift>while looking simply'er- I really want to let my life be a daily me pouring that oil for an on Jesus. That serving him an his heart would be top priority~.. I know is hard sometimes... But i fear that if i took the easier route. The end would be empty. Left of black trails, where the dreams of god, bc a left over platter where critters creep to eat, but never recieve the fullness
God dreams of intimacy, with each one of his children...an it may mean laying it all down b4 him~

Soap. I led worship tonight...

all i gotta say is i'm glad its over... Ger thats a bad heart right..

But the stupid tuner didn't work properly, so my guitar (a)string was way out of tune, i tried my best to tune it. But couldn't get it right. How frusterating! And the lady who always help me tune was gone... Ger. Gotta love it!

So it despite me being very critical of my self- it was awsome night of worship...& We prayed for our country a bunch an other issues pertaining to it. God gave me the story of Jonah. How He was called to go tell Ninavah to repent, but dind't bc of bitterness in his heart towards them. Eventually after pretty much being stuck in a big fish, or some say whale, he repented an said he would go. When he went the king of Ninevah, proclaimed a fast, an all were repenting, bc of this God changed his mind an desided not to destroy the people. 

Poor jonah was mad when God did this... Perhaps maybe the ninevites also known as the assyrians, known for their brutal ways of killing people in wars, an worhsip of false GOds. Killed someone he knew, what ever jonah was mad about, It couldn't compare with GOd love for these people. . After ninevah repented, Jonah said(jonah 4:2), "That is why i ran away from tarnish, i knew that you are a kind and loving GOd, who shows pity. I knew that you are slow to anger, and filled with loving kindness, always ready to change your mind and not punish..":)

So applying this story to America,.. to our govermant, leaders, and people within this nation. that we would turn from sin, an repent so God, can bless, and cover our country. 

that Gods mercy would be reconized and not walked over:)

we also prayed for the soldeirs over sea's an here in the USA. FOr wisdom, an encouragement!

Also for churches an leaders, youth an leaders, that god would rise up people with his heart towards them, and creativity reaching them. 

Then we started spinning into GOds love, god really was showing me his heart for his beloved.. Ho much he loves us. How he's captured by us,.just like in song of solomon, How just a glance of our eyes he's overwhelmed! WOw, GOd really is the answer for humankind, only his love can fill our heart. so that we can say its more then enough. That Jesus see's the small moves in our heart and it pleases him:) I feel like there are alot of people who can't except Gods love, They don't feel like their good enough or well what ever it is. Its such a lie.. It makes me mad, GOd loves us.despite everything! He forgives us Despite everything.... I really still pray even now, that people would come to know gOds love to the fullest measure, how he is our father who loves an loves, and cares and cares. ANd won't let u do anything, or give u anything u can't handle- He is so good. I want to know my Father GOd so much more an more. He's so special to me~ I can't grasp it all. it overwhelms me<>

    And i feel like after i say that too God  He says , its not just about work, but truely cares for me and my best. He doesn't want me to settle, that i'm not worthy or good enough, but wants me to truely see who i am in his eyes. WOW, open the eyes of my heart God!!!Its not what i do or how he uses me but that I'm loved by GOd, an accepted and will never be alone.

...Okay so i'm taking it a day at a time... an moments of remembering his love are priceless!

chicken fingers an honey is good:)

Today went by so flipping fast.... ger i need some more hours..

the highlight.... . . .   . Some one i love dearly taking a step towards help-

I thought it was impossible.. i thought what seemed like a endless circle an cycle, would never break or given concern towards..

Today was a day,,.. in which u wonder if all your prayer has finally helped....

I love my parents, more then my self sometimes. but can't show them the love in which a normal child could. Though i'm a adult yes.. There is still a freindship that lasts in normal parent to daughter growing up relationship.. I sometimes yearn for this. But they have an have alwasy been unable to b that figure:( And when so, the next minute everything could change.. I guess this is dysfunction. Why i'm bloggin this.. Bc i believe GOd is going to heal them! an d heal my relationship.. I've been praying most of my life for this. And am not getting my ambitions up too much. But during the last 6 wks, our pastor has been preaching a sermon series on boundreis an relationships. During this time, it was hard to listen an bc there was not only always dysfunction when growing up but still now, in my parents life. 

      I've now have detached myself from them. For loves sake... Its super hard...I want to b there for them and share in life. BUt i realize, until someone makes a move away from it an calls it as it is. They might never get the point and help they need.  The present satifation of comfort of a parent or freind is good but when it becomes unpredictable what will happen when u go there, and may cause u to b wounded may not b wise. The only thing i know what to do is become invisible to them. I use to think it was just my dad and his anger, but now see how my mom my whole life alowed it.

         This breaks my heart, or has broken my heart. To see someone u dearly love be so comfortable an stuck in dysfunction. Is tough.

      But I praise God:) he has always been my rock through it all, an while he has taken me away 5 years in missions, also taught me much an He personaly healed me much. I know i'm not perfect an still hang by a thread sometimes, but know God doesn't ignore the cry of the afficted, and I'm lving proof of it~ He answers prayers in way i can't even imagine! He allows me to make decisions an teaches me from them.

       I'm in awe of GOd, and his redemption in my life. Whether he chooses to continuely heal my family too,  I myself will allow the potter to mold me into the image he once intended me to be:) And pray will God will release his healing in miraculous ways in my family and families all around the world, for his glory!

Proverbs 2:)

My son, if you accept my words

and store up my commands within you,

2turning your ear to wisdom

and applying your heart to understanding,

3and if you call out for insight

and cry aloud for understanding,

4and if you look for it as for silver

and search for it as for hidden treasure,

5then you will understand the fear of the LORD

and find the knowledge of God.

6For the LORD gives wisdom,

and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

7He holds victory in store for the upright,

he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,

8for he guards the course of the just

and protects the way of his faithful ones.

9Then you will understand what is right and just

and fair—every good path.

10For wisdom will enter your heart,

and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.

11Discretion will protect you,

and understanding will guard you.

12Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men,

from men whose words are perverse,

13who leave the straight paths

to walk in dark ways,

14who delight in doing wrong

and rejoice in the perverseness of evil,

15whose paths are crooked

and who are devious in their ways.

16It will save you also from the adulteress,

from the wayward wife with her seductive words,

17who has left the partner of her youth

and ignored the covenant she made before God.^a

18For her house leads down to death

and her paths to the spirits of the dead.

19None who go to her return

or attain the paths of life.

20Thus you will walk in the ways of good men

and keep to the paths of the righteous.

21For the upright will live in the land,

and the blameless will remain in it;

22but the wicked will be cut off from the land,

and the unfaithful will be torn from it

This is whats been cooking- I love God an that he alone wants to show us his ways an direction:) In Christ alone, we can do all things:)

        Still another day, serving the Lord and i'm more an more fathoming his love. How he is slowly but surely moving in my family's life, an mostly taking me to his mountains and showing me the view! 

tomorrow i lead worship for Prayer house, an as i prepare i realize how much God just desires to be with us, an spend  time with us~

I'm so thankful for God.

Not sure whats up? But my head feels like it splitting open!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today. was a huge day for me. I felt like i was walking on fire. Not bc i was tripping on any drug..lol or hav ever done that, but Jesus walked on water an then walked through fire,( in the oldtestament with the three guys thrown in hot fire. )

           Why... becuase they wouldn't bow down to any other God.

I feel like that today I'm willing to b different. Even if it means walking against tradition or comfort. I felt like this was a big step for me. an a piece of who i really am coming into play. I think Gods is taking me to different level of faith lately, its amazing while very challenging. 

I love jesus more an more each day! an hoping for even more of him an his grace to be poured over my heart. 

I have given GOd my life.... 

I love it more an more.. He is so good at taking care of it! And teaching me his ways in unique situation.. sorta funny..I also love Gods humor, He makes me laugh so hard sometimes.. 

           Okay welp just a drip of whats Gods doing right now.. though it seems like i'm driving down a road with a blindfold on.. He's the one telling me left or right an i love it!

random boggle on Gods love+ prayer

This song is so stuck in my head lately...It's by Hillsong united!

Our GOd He lives for ever , he reigns with power an love, let earth bow down before him, He is exalted! We look to Yahweh...Yaweh, forever Yaweh....... 

    

Our hope is GOd almighty his love is greater then all, Lift high the GOd of heavens, Give all the honor, We look to yaweh, Our hope is in Yaweh..

And he shall reighn for ever, he shall reighn forever an ever...

We look to Yaweh Yaweh, forever Yahew.....

I love that the GOd of yesterdy an today is the same. The GOd who created man, breathed into man, delivered man, and loves man, is the same one i worship today. I have a ring i arabic it reminds me of the GOd i serve an love.  IT says i'm my beloved an he is mine. I can't grasp this love of GOd! He chooses me to be his:) He would give up everything for me to know him an his love. ITs quite spectacular, i'de say. And he deosn;t leave me in this obseesed love stae.lol but draws me deeper in the thing of his heart an mind. He shows me his world, his children, his other beloved whom need him. . . I understand this alot.. I understnad the place of not knowing fully who i am an who GOd is. Growing up with a abusive father; I've had moments of believing i'm not worthy of love, or ask questions to GOd about where is this love. being at a place of hatred of self.... Yeh but this all changed when the revelation of GOds love came. All the lies were being expelled. Its like Jesus took a axe an broke them off. I began to undercover truth as i became dyer hungry for god word, reading night on morning on. Despite whatever would happen through out the day, Gods word was present an so was he. I could hear GOds voice in the scriptues they whispered to me. 

         Whie knowing a bit of his crazy love...... I'm become in love with the lost, or those who don't know GOd an his love an forgiveness. Or Keep thinking bout those who don't have a chance to meet him. I've heard many times of the child prostitutes around the world. Put in cages an treated like animals. a price for a night or a hour. Children we're talking bout, from 3 -19!!!  I then think about of GOds love for them; How GOds heart must be breakng for them... I know people whom work for this area in thailand an china, an fiji. They say its one of the hardest things to see, an while their are rescure missions an other divine intervention, but when u can't do anything that hurts the most. I've never been at that place of being used like that, but i wonder what it must be like to be so utterly hopeless. I pray Jesus will bring Justice an love there. THe GOd of Jacob of Moses the Living GOd to move in these area of injustices, i pray GOd would rise up, people who would be willing to Go and show love, to be love, to act love. . I listened to a dvd a couple days ago bout a just mission connected with IHOP, Called Exodus cry, while he was talking bout all the injustice in the world an what people are doing what theri doing, he told a story, of a young missionary, reaching out to the prostitutes in Thailand. He went ot the redlight districk and pertended to be a client. When he was put in a room with a girl. She asked him if he was American, He said yes. She said we have many here.. Then She saw his cross necklace, she said are you a christian? He said.. sorta hesently yes. She's like we get many here!

                  Crazy i thought.. the guy began to share the truth behind Christ an why he came their. . Christ cam to forgive us for all unrighteousness, and let us be in union with God. God is loving an doesn't approve in what these people are doing... While then he shared more, he talked the young lady about a mission they are doing helping young prostitutes out of the area an giving them a chance of freedom. .. Things like this are going on all the time, an praying for them, is just as much useful as actually going there. Prayer is the foundation of who we are in christ. God says his house is to be a house of prayer. Our we GOds house, Does he live in us, then intercession must be first.. Ger, not sure why i'm sharin this but its so on my heart that the body of Christ would draw in the place of prayer an intercession, whther 10 minutes or an hour. It has changes my out look on life, GOd an other people. I love it.. I love GOd choses me to be part of his amazing Soverighn plan!!!!!!!!!AWesome More JEsue! Come and release your love to the nations to indian river, to northern michigan.. Release the poverty thats sarting to happen bc of the economy, an show us your favor:)

Gosh.. ever want out?

Sometimes the days just don't make sence... Its like i'm running up a endless hill an there no down sprint....Not to be a depressing bloger.. but sometimes i want ever thing to be perfectly laid out..I want answers, healing, revelation and something with purpose. When i bargan for life in prayer............ saying i'll give mine.:)

Lol maybe this it...Maybe what i'm looking an hope for is right in front of my eyes. What if this on going what seems as a up hill battle, is just what the Lord has for me.. Why not be tested, chasened, taught patiance, endurance and love...

Despite all that is bubbling in my mind... i'm remembered by a piece of GOds faithfulness, which reminds me he is still God..

Okay so i've been wanting to go to this youth christain conferance an acuualy was told by many i should speak at it, but never worked out. Any how every time i thought about it i felt like God didn't want me to buy a ticket, or even mention it to anyone. Then the youth leading now at my church asked me to come along, but still was like, nope GOd was saying no.. SO i was like okay,, so maybe i'm not to go, or something else will happen..

This morning i recieved a call fro a lady in my church in whom sometimes takes care of a cute little girl, whom i've sorta began being a big sisiter too. This girl is now singing in my church, once in awhile an loves God, but faced with trouble alot too. ANy how the lady called to say she's won 4 tickets to this confreance an if i can could i take her an invite some other people to go..!!!

         How great! God is thinking- bout what he thinks is best.. i love it an love him!

 My freind dana is now coming over... We're going to have a bible study, worship an prayer.. So excited she's never een here yet. She was going to come to the prayer house tonight, but when i showed up they decided on sharing with others the reason why they r having a prayer house. I felt i needed more time to hear form Jesus so decided to leave. They were a little upset, bc i'm on the worship team.. But i can't please people.... I have to please GOd. And i know he wants time my time right now.. I'll meet with the prayer house leader tomorrow, so its fine..

   Okay.. despite junk- there joy, despite fear- theres love- despite what seems like sorrow- there is promise of another day.. Thank u lord for the beginning an the end. Time an time again. I'm stunned by u an our ways.. Come breathe on this heart of mine, an bring life!

Praise GOd that he Reigns!

   

emmaus D2:)

Was another long day at Emmaus... day 2 or should i say, morning day an night 2. LOL

So i decided to fast today for more direction from God for what he has for me next... Sorta like my on going journey. But remembered the scripture on how if u seek him.. with all your heart u will find him. Today.. i found Jesus in a new way..lol~sorta weird way of saying it. But when your committed to answers, He won't let u down:)

      praise God, for his love for us... an let it be know round the world!

first blog..woot woot

Aight welp, been wanting to blog for awhile an finally got myself to try it out. So here I am. Have nothing profound really 2 say, but to begin my day. I'll go there..haha I woke up with a phone call to sub, i knew i would be called today too, i could just feel it. SO i left my sisters last night in Boyne city, to come home  to stay with my pup whitney a beautiful husky i might have to let go of:( Any how, though it was late from babysitting i knew i had to take the 50min drive back to my parents for the night. . Where i don't like staying but bc of the whole dog situation i sometimes will stay the night to be with her. My apartment says big no on her, an unfortuanately i may have to too:(

 Any how.. why this story is important or means anything is starting this blog i thought i could give a practical story of my faith in Jesus. And this one is simple but fits perfectly...

  So i stay the night, in my room at the parents, an as usuall can't fall asleep, though i'm tired. 1am an i'm bit lame now, wishing i could just pass out.. Haha anyways finally i fall asleep. Then as what i thought happened( despite i havn't had  many sub calls at all). A recieved a  call oh great  5am to sub....i thought how rude to call so dag early.. but when i heard it was for Wolverine and not inland Lakes, I felt like GOd was saying no. I'm like um ....ok i'll press the button when they'll call u back in a hour if u change your mind... Of course the hour came... woke me up again..gerrrr getting anoying now... Still the same place, i felt again God saying no. But  i still felt i was spose to sub in ILHS. I checked online an no other sub calls. So i decided, i wasn't going to take Wolverine cause had a feeling to wait...

8:15am rolls by.. i'm sorta up but just super tired from last night an not sleeping much..I get a call from ILHS school itself.. Excuse me Miss. Mange a teacher isn't feeling good an she neeeds to go home, i know this is last minute but can u sub today!

     I said sure thing, an joked.. should i wear a mask(bc the flu is getting bad). We laughed haha(that was lame but thought b funny to write) And So the day was prety laid back teaching but very meaning ful to me. I praise GOd he let me be there to see the youth.. not just that.. but even something more precious...

 Last year after coming home for being away for bout 2yr straight in missions, God led me to work at the IRUMchurch as the youth pastor.. During this time GOd layed alot of youngsters on my heart. Not only that but, began to show me the crap their going through. There was this one family of kids particular that, He just highlighted. Well. not to give to much detail, but this yr the youngest one of this family was still living upnorth when her brother an sister moved downstate bc, they now were old enough... Any ways, this young girl, had such a loving heart she wanted to b excepted so much. But for the past year an a half. I've seen a miricle in this girls life.. What once was shy, insecure and angry girl, has turned into a the young girl she is called to be. Last week she sang at our church with another girl who's my twin everyone says.. AN sang revelation song.. it was beautiful. ..Anyways.. As i was subing today, she randomly stoped in the class i was in at the time, an saw me. She said i got a foster parents and leaving tomorrow, back down state. Man it was unexpected... THis girl means so much to me bc, despite of all the junk she had to go through she chose to give her everything to JEsus, and despite her brother an sister not excatly going the same direction. She knew who she was in CHrist... Its so neat to see, when the people u earnestly pray for come to the revelation of Jesus. Gosh nothing can stop a girl who has met face to face with the living God!

          anyways i thought that was neat... that she came here really hurting and left a totally different loving girl..Who never seizes to amaze me! 

So this was partly my day.... While the other moment of ahha', Was during emaaus( 3.5 days womens walk at the church on who God is and who u r..). This walk i did last fall, and was a great re-awaking to me of GOds love and commitment in my life. SO now its neat to serve the others who get to experiance it also through neat teachings an demonstrations, an much more i can't share as . Emmaus is spose to b a surprize..haha

      But the one thing that stuck to me was a picture an a story i saw somewhere. I forget it breifly but remember the message that grabbed me. " When i came to christ i realize i was not in control, and began to except what he has for me an given me." This was humbling... If GOd wants me here doing (whatever) but puts me here, for his purpose. Its not about me.

  I know i'v eheard this a million times. But it hit me today- His purpose, he has a prupose in my life whether i see it, understand it or like it, and will accomplish it when i say yes.

I don't want to run or be something i wasn't created to be. I want to be Hope, yes a bit energetic, abit off the wall in giggles sometimes, forgetful yes, but passionate for injustice, willing to obey God, despite anything~ And not perfect, but on my way to be my best everyday. WIth Gods strength grace and forgiveness.. night y'all

Oh and i swear another thing that stunded, me was in one of the class rooms in the library today, is the memorial there for my sister whom died at 16. she painted a picture b4 she died and it hangs in the library with a plac. I never noticed it but the girl in the picture almost lookes just like me now. It was weird... I miss her, and the goodtimes we had, but i belive she wants me to live this life to the fullest, until the great day we meet again:)