can't get to heaven in a limosine

He wore a cross today!

yeh its a necklace but man~ the story behind it is even more crazy ! yup, once again God is in the game of miracles~
In his ways~!

GOds stress.. his kingdom

I wish words would switch as i write and sound amazing.. mainly bc i'm tired but thought i'de better blog a bit..

Soap.... Alot of crazieness and maybe unneccessary stress has been overwhelming.. i know its important to know when to say yes an no and have boundaries.. Os u won't b a wreck an stressed..
But wheh the Lord puts you in a situation in which can be stressful; stress takes on a naohter meaing when given to the Lord. It becomes sweat, hope, intercession, and expounding within each second..
this randomly brings me back to a monet in which i had forgotten...
About 2 an yrs ago the Lord had me do a extended outreach in the Phillippines. My team left me in Indonesia and the next day i was off to my next journey and with excitedment for Gods will to unfold to me. I knew there was a great reason he kept showing me the Phillipines.... well, i could add why and all the heart shaking things that happened. But i''l stop there and go straight to this moment,...
Serving with the ywam there;( they have over 24 bases just in the philippines bc of al the isldans an place) I was doing all sorts of ministy. And they all mostly were in the most poor places. The place was called Smokey Mountain... Why because it was built on heaps an heaps of mountais of trash. In which burned during the day bc of the heat. It reaked, was full of pollution, SOOOOO hot and humid at times. I praised God i brought my bandanas, bc all of our transportation was in dust of bursts of pollution everywhere. My skin became dark, and i wore 50spf, so it wasn't bc of the sun. But bc of the dirtieness. I'm not complaining, but just describing how i was for me. the situation was extremely hard for me. I could barely breath.
any how i began to minister beside the most humble people i've ever think i've met before. These people give their life go to help the poorest of poor. Bring them medical attention, doing children feeding and bible teaching programs. Working with families, a awesome teenaer ministry, evangelism is a everyday thought in theri lives. Whether its sharing the about the Lord, or just sharing his love in actions.. its endless. The people love; yes its hard for them; but they come to their level and learn and hear the people. they understand their situations, and fins ways for them to move forward...
I mean they help the high schoolers so they can go to collages and even ask people from around the world to help fund them in school, so they can come out of the cycle of poverty.
Its great, but every night or day i would cry. I was sad for my brother and sisters living in such strained situations...

I would walk the trash streets where somebody seemed like they had nthing and depended on their family or community to live. they loved deep, and looked out for each other..
What i'm getting at is, among what i saw as poverty and stress and the hardest time of my life. I began to pray and ask God to help me understand why i was here. What he wanted to show me, to give and show me his heart.
One morning he spoke these words to me; I want you see the people i love, i want you to see them love...

Everything changed all whiched seemed like barriors dissapeared. My heart became red, and i knew that this hardship was no longer my focus, but loving and knowing his people here was key~

Now back to my stress now.. What i'm doing is super ahrd but; i believe God has a greater purpose. Many great things have been happening.... So all i can say this moment is stress for the Lord has greater fruti then what we expect..
I have to go. but next would love to share on desires of the heart:) bless yah all!

Gods compassion burning deep

I've never learned and experainced compassion like i have in the past weeks. I have to realize the Lord has shown me, so much compassion whether i can see it, or not. But wow what a day to day struggle to give an give and show compassion~
Gods compassion is so intense, so enormous, so out of this world!!
It has destroyed all my bounds of lines of structured love~ Its taken me to the thee level.

I'm so grateful to experiance this, bc i get a taste of what it meant for God to give an show me compassion~

Pretty much awe struck! I never thought ide find this lesson here in my home town~ I never thought how one kid can change me!

Wait did i say one kid, no i mean may kids!
I've broken my stereo type's my false opinions, my lack of understanding~

I am another person, no longer the same i feel, like someone just gave me binoculars into another world i looked way over.

I wish i could share what has been going on, but its so much an so long! but i can say is i can never speak with out understanding first, i can never ignore the different, I can never say or even think I'm more than one other person.

I've found this sence of humanity, a place of broken dreams where miracles still exists~

a place where tomorrow; doen't matter if i can't get through today~

A place where one person can change the life of another ..literally!

Lord please give me more compassion on those whom you've placed in front of me~
Help me befriend those who the world cast away, help love in purity:) help me show your love God!

Your compassion over whelms me~ I can do nothing but stand in awe of just this one characteristic of You~

I'm afraid of it at the same time, only bc i realize your compassion for me...Father it doens't end.....
How Can my Lord be so compassionate~! His love is like the waters overflowing breaking through any desert and tearing down any strong tree. It melts the coldest glacier, and burns the hollowest heart!
Oh Lord awaken love, awaken our heart to feel, to hear to know how u feel about us~ Lord only you can teach us to show true compassion~ Help me more an more.. Compassion is hearing within your heart

here with a daisy

The field lies waiting for the twirl of dancing skirts and the sounds of blues. The twist of thought challenges the atmostphere, shall we dance here?

Take off my shades, for the trees don't speak, wandering here i may seek.
Though no tresspassing among path, no other place do i have.

Does the watercolor explain  this fray, does the light always just pass so fast today?

where art though promies where art thy word, where is the picture i thought had formed?

Will you embrace this rivers flow? Do you see you have a role? Inspite inspite, oh remove that tear, remeber how thy slithers through this hemiphere? So do I yet will remain, to challenge that picture not invain.

Laugh do laugh i slumber nay, Fathers love remains all day~

Take off thou scarlet thread its not your to contend, a harlets throb of fear, why contain? This path is yours do not refrain.

I've given dozens of roses but will not do; a daisy can only explain my love for you!

 Foot prints dissapear, while this daisy holding here. Can the field say good bye, will the watercolor become dry?

Just a kid where to go I met God here, he took control:)

random thoughts all mixed like a frapachino:)

So been a tuff crazy couple weeks, been good, becuase God works with me:)
I googled twitch today..lol but seriously, i'm stressed out an twitch at least 3times aday, uncontrolable...haha i think this is weird but funny. I'l be like oh sorry about that eye wiggle:) Some eye expert website, says its from stress caffiene, loss of sleep, an some other ones that i can't relate to. But Realize i need to chill, or i might have to get botox to relax my eye muscles.haha yea right~!


So Great things have been happening right now in areas where i have been praying for, its really neat to see things sorta come together... well, at least for others around me. There are people god has laid on my heart to pray for and beginning to see breakthrough in their lives. So thats always neat. But its not like thte fantastic usage of neat, but more like super challenginf times for these people but their moving forward. Thats great.. Gods such a faithful Father, I can see more of it day by day. I love that he excepts his children right where they are an loves them no matter what.

I guess i can't imagine what GOd the father must feel everyday, seeing so much junk goin on in the world, but i can't stop to think He the man:)
I have a sorta new job for this na maybe next week, but i already want to quit, which is totally unlike me:0?
I tend to be happy with what ever work I believe the Lord leads me to do. But seriously this job is redicuous...I can't really say much about it, but i was so upset that all could do today was complain!!!

Why because it has to do with working with a young teenager who needs help, not just a change of behavior but despite that, has some deep trama in his life which is leading him to act the way he is in school~

Why so much in life does the world tend to push problems under the carpet and paint flowerly pictures on the wall? Its a load of crud i say. Why, oh why can't people genuinely take the time to invest in someones future instead of hope for the present pretty picture of a behavior change. Which eventually wil come out agina, and more likey be more serious.

I'm very mad at this and how We over look peoples problems. I think Jesus hit the target, when he show the way when it was wriiten in Isaiah....
Isaiah 61

The Year of the LORD's Favor

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners, [a]
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

I mean hello.....
It wasn't tell people how to stop acting like dumb butts.. I mean if it was about that we'd still be living in the oldtestament right~
But now its so a heart thing, an for those who are in need of a helper, GOd wanted to restore the hurting people He created and loved.
SO my point that i really have to blogg to help me sleep tonight is....Why the heck focus on changing some ones behavior when inside they have no hope, are hurt, and want to die. How the heck will this solve anything...

So my case rest hopefully not fo to long as tomorrow i will pick it up again and confront the leadship over me.. this will b interesting, but I'm sure God will give me the words to say, and if i'm not heard... I still will do my job above their standards and love the broken hinding behind a mask of war& fear..
The end...

BTW
i'm pet sitting a turtle this moment an sorta freaks me out, oh an a dog that rolled in a dead deer carcass..I'm bummed i didn't 'do' anything outside after work bc it as beautiful out, I really want to train for a half marathon in June, but having a hard time to run outside alone again. I guess i need to get a gym membership or something bc i miss running, but hate the fact i don't feel safe running out there alone... unless it downtown, but then i feel like a dork running back and forth..hah oh the joys of living in a fallen world.not

Go small or go home:)

So........why do small things seem to make such a influence?

Well, maybe bc we overate small for big.. What determines something to b small or big.lol

I guess i'm just saying small things can change peoples lives... Small things can stop war, small things can be big. Its not about the size lol this is sounding great but really the act . To remove your self from passivity to even try to be obediant. Is big!
To love is big, to forgive is big, to obey is big, to laugh is big, to pray is big, to praise is big... an the story goes on.. When your talking about a enormously big an amazing God, what an anything you do or say to him is big~! bc He sees you as a big deal~

I love this. I love even the silence. the waiting the realizing him. the surrender! The trust. Where i may b tomorrow, is totally up to him... and its okay bc its part of his BIG plan:)

Lord help me be found faithful when you call me:)

"take the shackles off my feet so i can dance"

A song that i'm loving today:)

Kari Jobe You Are For Me

So faithful
So constant
So loving and so true
So powerful in all you do
You fill me
You see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to you

I know that you are for me
I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness
I know that you have come down
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who you are

So patient
So gracious
So merciful and true

So wonderful in all you do
You fill me
You see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to you

I know that you are for me
I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness
I know that you have come down
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me that

I know that you are for me
I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness
I know that you have come down
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who you are

the end

Well its been once again awhile since i wrote, ahaha officailly a loser, but some neat things in the midst of trials been happening~

an when its not 1am i'l have to share them..

but i'm just questioning pain lately, and how to be a overcomer in the midst of it.
I know its everywhere in this world an right at my front door~I guess my way of dealing with it, is confronting it but sometimes that makes it worse. While the old saying it has to get worse before it can get better.. haha i hope not:)
But seriously there has to be some ways to withstand pain despite the human nature way of running from it, or nunbing it.
I guess when i can't seem to find answers or ways to stratigize for the pain to leave, all i have is dance. I love dancing especiialy listeing to worship music and praising GOd in the midst of what is probably a temporary affiction~
So this is sorta a random thought provoker hopefully, and would like to hear others idea's of pain and how they overcome it;)
Till next time..Hope'ster;)

Tis my bday~! Yippie ~finaly arrive at 24! Why do I appreciate it so much?:)

Welp, I just have so many things I wish to do this year. Also, I think I've escape death a few times, not to sound spooky or anything, but I've had so many miracles happen in my life where something really bad may have happened, but somehow I made my way out. I'm sure its GOds protecting me and if its not God then I'de say I'm super lucky!..

  So, today I'm subbing in Onaway, despite the fact I drove to the wrong school, thinking i was else where..lol

Anyhow, I really  like the people in Onaway, sure Indina Riverians..:) tend to lean more to ripping on them, but i think they go beyond nice~For an example a teacher comes in my room offering me coffee..(special coffee.. non staff room coffee..) we're talking about good stuff!  This alone is enough to make my day. But really though, I just like it here, despite the time 2 days ago when i had the class from...

Okay I just have to share some funny things; a kid says where are you from.. then right away start talking how she is from NY. Then randomly is like i want to see the eiffel towers. Meaning more the one. It was really cute~ Then I they asked the story why i'm changing my name, when i told them the part how I asked GOd for a comfirmations, then randomly that day a girl comes up to me and says Hi hope, and I didn't know her. They thought it was cool<>

SO i havn't blogged lately, so  I'm a slacker~ but lastly a cool story~
The other day i went snow shoeing with my dog Whitney, randomly i felt liek i should pray for my 2004 an graduating class, when i was praying i felt a burden to pray especially for one particular guy in whom was in my class. Crazy thing is, i went into a store yesterday and guess what! That guy in which i havn't seeen for 5 and half years was there at the entrance!

Whoa, i dind't even reckonize him at all, He knew me right away!

SO i was going to b like thats crazy i was praying for u the other day, but thought that would freak him out:)  So anyways, he was engaged i met his soon to b wife, and headr the story how his mom doesn't approve of them getting married. ITs really sad, ow hard could that be. The one you love, totally not approved of. Ger. makes mad, anyways afterthey showed me their midevil photo's they got together, (..:)..)I told them i'll be praying for them and that gOd would changed His mothers heart.

SO i guess i'm adding this bc i believe God will do a miracle and do that~! SO be prepared for a testimony:)

Now out of school yae! Meeting up with katie later we're going to chaperone a dance after he game tonight. Will be interesting, never chaparoned one before. I can't imagine doing it an not dancing though....hm

Okay till next time seinara!.

ps cinnamen in good for the heart, tip of the day:)

flint

Another beautifully snow blown day~

While very interesting and I'm left really just trusting God for so much wisdom ~ I think he's testing me right now, or whether he's testing me or just the world is testing me. I want to respond like Isaiah did,

Isaiah 50:7 (NIV)

Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, 

I will not be disgraced. Therefore have

 I set my face like flint, 

 and I know I will not be put to shame.

Sometimes it doesn't work out as planned dreamed wished or hoped! I'm realizing its okay. A fairlytale left hidden in my heart, where my maker can come find me submitted~ Willing and ready~ To walk with him anywhere~ 

I pray, if he was going to knock on my door, i would be ready to answer my heavenly Father right away~

your r my shield:)

 will bless the Lord forever
I will trust Him at all times
Made me glad Lyrics from Hillsong

really speaking to me tonight:) and praying people would find him in the midst of trials ~

He has delivered me from all fear
He has set my feet upon a rock
I will not be moved 
And I'll say of the Lord

You are my shield, my strength
My portion, deliverer
My shelter, strong tower
My very present help in time of need

Whom have I in heaven but You
There's none I desire beside You
You have made me glad
And I'll say of the Lord

You are my shield, my strength
My portion, deliverer
My shelter, strong tower
My very present help in time of need

no i had lucky charms

If i didn't put God first in my life;

Many things would be sooo radically different for me!( including probally being married and living in indai~lol)

I constantly need to remember that God is on my side.

When it doesn't seem like it should and becomes tuff, i have to rememeber his promises to me~

He won't ever leave or forsake me.

I have obeyed him with huge choices in my life, which took a great amount of faith!

while presently i'm wrestling with small choices, which may take more faith then i 've imagine~

 Great steps take great faith

Great faith requires great steps. So whether your steps are big or small it still requires your whole being to submit to God and trust in him~meaning great faith~

No step is less then the other, because each one leads to the greater cause~

So all im hoping to say, is living a life of faith requires a dependancy on Christ in everything. Why Do  things on your own anyways right?

Okay so what if u Give it to Christ, and you still feel nothing is working, i think He then invites us to partner with his body, which is the church to accomplish the task~!

who's Jesus?;)

Part of  a song from, 'Hillsong'

You stood before creation- eternity in your hands, you spoke the earth into motion, my soul now to stand.

You stood before my failures, carried the cross for my shame, my sin weighed upon your shoulders, my soul now to stand

So what could i say? What could I do?

But offer this heart oh, God completey to You!...

-So I'll stand with arms high and heart abandon, in awe of the one who gave it all, i'll stand my soul Lord to you surrendered all all i am is Yours!

Gosh this is a great song.. Speaking to me so much how GOd choose to stand for us first:)

He choose to accept me despite my failures depsite everything that doens't honor him. He stood, because He loved me!

 I realize How much it must of hurt him to stand to give his life for me. Sometimes i forget or maybe just don't think about how real this is~ Sometimes its a memory of the verses or the reflection of the cross. But I think it should be a daily remembrance thing in my life. TO remember He standed for me, He standed for  my famliy, He stood for the surrounding countries and people all over the world!

Gosh He only needed to do it once, and now we all are free! Because of Jesus's obediance to the Father, we all now lay before a open door to heaven, an open door to talk and hand out with God, here while we chill on earth. hah

I just love that He stood first~

Sometimes i feel like i'm the only one standing for certain things or burdens layed on my heart. BUt really He stood before me, that he is still standing for his will to be done on earth!

When i feel like i can't stand or when it gets tuff, i can dwell on Jesus, how he was able to stand despite difficulty because the Spirit of God was upon him! And also upon me:)

I love this. I admire this! I want to my life to testify to this standing! 

I learned today alot, mainly how i'm a people person. I work best with people, I really would like to be part of a team in everything that i do.  Not sure why this is a red light for me today, but i guess i always liked being alone, and never had a problem with it. I am introverted, but i think i work best boucing off ideas of other people. I learn, more.hmm i'm a dork i know:)

haha, ok.. but for joke of the day.... or should i say.. my joke.lol

So i'm in this new bible study group focused on Romans~

Today was the first day, an there were quite a big size of a group. Any how a horrible Hope moment came.. Yes.. i know i had something obnoxiously funny to say, an only i was going to get it!.. i was totally going to hold it back.. but i couldn't

There was this super serious moment an then they asked for questions, let me remind u these are all older people then me..;) and i'm like in the back of the group sorta hidden, and i'm like who is Christ!

            I'm glad one man laughed;)My pastor the teacher, was so low key, well Jesus .. Jesus Christ..He totally was clueless that it was me and that I wasn't serious!

Gosh if only my freind was there who was from hawaii in my bible shool.  He would say crazy random things like that, to well really serious professors who came an taught!!!!

Prettty sure he got kicked out, of the school? or something..?But I think it was because he would randomly throw chairs off the belcony at night by the dorms..hm

Ok so, i'm on my way... forward and really appeciate the small things in life that make such a difference!

JOY

I want the JOY of the Lord to lift me!

I want the JOY of the Lord to change me!

I want the JOY of the Lord in my life!

~ I need his joy to restore everything that was taken from me! I need Gods joy to be my strength:)I love that His joy has the capability to do some mighty good damage~

I consider my self a pretty joyful person:) But now I want more of GOd's joy...A joy to hold me when it seems foggy, a joy to help me to remain faithful when hardtimes come. His Joy has to be my foundation:) with out joy........how could we hope....With out the joy the pain will seem endless~@!

..........I think of haiti, an the horrible disaster.... How do you cope in such sadness and pain!

I believe GOd is able to bring joy, not to hide the pain but to allow us to know this is a moment and things will get better~! I can't imagine what the people are going through over there, but i do pray they wouldn't lose heart and would find strength in God. And wouldn't lose sight of the sunshine, and GOds love! They would be able to hope dream and have faith of a new beginning!With new promises. With Jesus in the center~

I pray for miricles~ I pray for Jesus to come and raise the dead! I pray that nothing would seperate others from finding shelter in God in this terrible time! I pray oh Jesus, please do a miricle or millions:) thanks u love them an u love me~ Pour it over us~! save + heal and release life!

feeling like tye die....hmm

well its a long day

I think God did some awesome things for sure, especially at work today:)

God to witness to a lady who came in really depressed, and i shared how God has purpose in her life. We talked for awhile an she let me pray for her:) It was really neat.

Oh and people in town are complaining that there is no buisness.. true very slow,.. I asked GOd what was a good solution:)... He shared with me how there was no real honor is this town. Alot of people are out for themselves, an forget about honoring others:(

So He told me to put up a sale sign! To honor custormers.. Not so much just for buisness but, to show honor!!!!!!!!

This meant alot to me, as i'm on a journey of learning about how to honor God. And too take this step today, i hope it touched his heart, and maybe others too. My mom thought i was a nut!~ but then realized i was clever. bc i got out valentines decorations and sorta wne all out..lol..But over all i belive in the times of hardship  and trial. GOd is the only one we can run to. I know he is the one who can help us in distress and fear. I pray GOd will release buisness in northern michigan but more over, release humility and honor!~

 a high lite of the night... is well i have a plate of stuff to get done an do an to think an decide about.

While todays i kept getting distracked so easily . I hate this, i'm realizing now the reason for it is because i guess working to me is lonely. Its like driving for perfection 24/7, you want to give your best, but at the end of the day, i still have loads to do:) And no one to say hey good job~

Sorta reality in alot of peoples life i think:)

Anyhow, i decided to quickly go for a milk run, because i drank the last cup an theres a 15 year old in the house who probally want cereal in the morning:) anyways, i was bummed to take a break bc i felt like i didn't get what i wanted done today. :(

It was rediculous this shame, like i was a failure~ 

But i heard Gods voice in all these thoughts and it was remarklable He intervened:)

He pointed straight at my heart~ He said this is what counts babe! Of all the people doing their own things right now, you are bummed because you think you failed at the work you wanted to finish today, SO it would give me more glory tomorrow ~!

God spoke something i can't ever forget tonight, that "Its not about how you might think you have failed to your own standard or to the worlds, but how you are honoring me with your life:) There will be set backs and failures, but the way you approach them is what matters."

Its true, an its a great overall picture that of course GOd sees...

What i think as procrastinating an distractions~ is not who I am or what I'm about= but a wall which tries to block me from finishing the great call. 

It is not my failing to serve God but me failing to believe God is right beside me in my everything!...

I know things are easier with more people, and it will be once I get the main things down for this conferance- but to live every moment with the faith that God is my right hand friend and buddy is my new challenge.

He's not just there when i ask or feel his presence, but  The Holy Spirit dwells in me!

This is great and encourages me to move forward~

No more putting clothing on dogs, or calling people for a second then having some pop!

I know these are fun an relaxing things but when they distract me from allowing God to speak to my heart, they become a idol in which is there bc of fear....

hm maybe go deeper on this fear another time.. its late and i have to sub tomorrow~ for crazy little ones:)

spice

Sometimes i think what doesn't make sence to us and may even be challenging, maybe making a huge differences in the lives around us.

I can't guarentee this is true, but i have one witness so far tonight~

I'm glad even in trails, the Lord uses me in quite ironic ways~:)

Even more... taking advantage of trials... into GOd moving moments... is pretty awesome~!

Its looking at the opportnity's around the dull moments an saying whats next Lord~

Its seems like theres so much we think we know, but really infact, we are clueless in how we can really be a blessing to others~ Thats why we really need to be open to listening to HolySpirit~

the end

oh mcdonalds...

So i'm not a huge mc donalds fan 24/7.. but once an while after the prayer house on tuesday its the quickest chicken sandwitch around....

lol 

okay but seriouly a piece of chicken a pickle on two pieces of bread it pretty shabby....

So much for that picture. i was totally going tor return it, but was to tired an hungry~

Not sure why i'm blogging this.. bc God totally rocked me tonight and i don't mean to complain... but seriosly please just put at least some ketchup on it for me:)

lol...

I miss.... my nephew today;) hope to c him tomoorow` an get one million things done...ger

b prayin for haiti.. alot of people going through hard time because of earthquake. Jesus please be there hope an healer.... U r their first love. remind them of that even in trials, you are there~

treasure in his hands

So its monday!!! woot woot

Great.. feel'n really overwhelmed with all I need to do. ger... I think this state leaves me wanting to be stagnet. Not wanting to move because theres so much. but I think baby steps, are so important..

With this,  it also connects with so many things we dream about in life, or desire to do, or become. 

We get so excited about them, but when we see the journey, the challenge and  I think the pain. We tend just to forget the dream of the possible. To move forward, means letting go of the things either in the present or past. 

Gosh, I tend to carry way to many burdens, or have false hopes for people  that I wish would change. I pray for them, be there for them, but my hope i think isn't pleasing God.  yeah for others, but for my benefit-

I can't be responsible for others but  my self~ and only can do so much:)

Sounds strange right~ The hope obviously is probally from or on Gods heart, but for me to feel like I have to be the one to change or help that person is rediculous. I can't!

  

My life is to honor and follow after Jesus and his heart- and when people arn't willing to move forward, it leaves me at a place to sit with them and carry their burden, or to move forward and give them to God.

This is where i'm at, I'm desiring to let go of so much that has been burdening and holding me to stay ok with a unchanging, settling life.

Thats not who I am or who God is~

Incredible things God has for those who seek him, He is a God of stragedy and creativity for his Kingdom to come on earth!

Gosh its so hard to be the one to step out of the boat when others enjoys sitting in it~

( meaning from the bible when Jesus invited Peter to walk on water..)

I just now am learning so much, of my purpose in my life! ha and i thought i already knew~

So its really not about me or what I can do, but God and what he desires to through me~

To fully live for the Lord, is to fully abandon myself and life and place it in his hands. Because I am a treasure before him, something only he has, and can use in anyway:)

.....blah...i wish there was a reggae party in my town... random thought..haha need to dance this off~

So....why not give GOd everything? why not trust GOd with everything!

missionary in Africa working for children!

duhl~!

Bring it on GOd!

today is the day!

So it's late~ an it was a awesomely incredible day & night~
Why bc....... God did some super sweet things in the family i now live with- lives.... A couple missionaries came from Mozambique....... an shared on the, 'dream project' their working and starting there for children... Sweet stuff for sure.

Any how, despite that... We all were just rocked with praying for each other..
And my freind katie.. whom is amazing by the way.... Got some super cool 'words'! Oh, And for those out there who are lil out in the blue about the term words:)
They are a phrase Christians say when, God speaks to us, maybe personally or to one another..( a word, or encouragement)

Knowing Katie... she is prety much really good at alot of different things:)
And is intense focused when she enters something.. Welp to make a long story short..
She got a word about doing something new But even better... A ministry she can't do!!!!!!!

haha when i heard this i laughed real hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She didn't think it was funny... But i got it.. Jesus was going to show himself to her in new way. He is behind her 100%. And through him, all things are possible!!
How awesome, i'm soooooooooo excited for her~What she can't do, God will. Wow God delights to be our handy man:)

BTW.... My new lil sis, sorta also got prayed for an it like super encouraged her.... i think one day she b missionary too~

Not to sure why i'm blogging this, but i believe that its cool How a missionary from brazil and mozambique comes to my lil town, my neighbor hood, an the house i just moved into- to encourage this christian family, who is so seeking God.....

I love it... i Love Gods heart for his beloved!
I love that he calls us faithful, an even when we don't see super cool things happen. My Daddy's always at work!
Just remembered i had coffee tonight.. perhaps thats why i'm still blogin, but really the chic on the mattress behind me thinks that I, should be blogin about what God showed me.. But its so much more fantastic, seeing How GOd continues to encourage the body of Christ in random ways:)

I love missionaries, i love that i am one, a good portion of the time, i love that GOd is not done with me yet! And most of all i love that GOd sees our potential and in his time, calls us into it, with his strength security and blessing. I'm so looking forward to this yr, not bc its 2 yrs closer to 2012( which really has no impact on my life:)..at least i don't believe). But mainly bc, he's doing new things all around the world!!!!!!!!
Praise Him, whom, desires to dwell among us, and use the open and obediant:) WHo uses the foolish things of the world to confound the wise!

Who speaks through donkeys, and call us to be more like children, believing in him.

Tell u the truth, my life is so random sometimes, But Gosh the Lord never fails to show his faithfulness to me..
Random-
Today i wanted to know Gods love a bit more.... My freind was randomly telling me how her husband is so trustworthy, an just adores her!! that she never has to question him on maybe why he is late, or what he's doing, or.... But She just knows He loves her and is faithful... Its like she's so secure ~
~ I felt like God was using this story to speak to me.
I know Before GOd has told me how He is the faithful one, and will always be to me... But it was neat to be reminded of How i'm to trust God, Like my friend trusts her husband...
her husband would never do anything to harm her, but help her, an care for her:)


Thats the same with GOd, His love is to care, love and be our security!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know this isn't to profound, but Gods love.. is so great! I'm so challenged today to trust in his love an care~
Maybe it is profound, for me it is at this moment.. I wish their was a God cheer swad... man i'de be so good at it!
Aight.. night time..
oh the words for me in a bundle= fire, globe, children, missions, joy, bible, freedom in worship!

OH LASTLY~~~~~~~~~~~~I climbed a huge mountain today on snowshoes, w Katie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol-at least pertended so.. actually was White RD hill!:) It so so pretty out, sparkling snow, bright sunshine...below zero.. but we were bundled up! And the huskies were out too~

2010

chapter 2010

oh man, includes me just moving out of my apartment an into a new place:)

I love that God has seasons in different places for me, an provides for me in awesome ways..

Above all else; this year i desire to see the challenges ahead of me turn into the promises of God~

I know this year God will be increasing much in my walk with Him as i seek him, i know this year a harvest is more then ready, and by going into it many fruit will b waiting~!
I know this year, He desires to continue to be the potter in my life, and shape me into something from his heart.
I know this year he wants me to see not through my own eyes, but to look closely through his:)

In all ways an whatever directions i take this year; i believe its something fabulous He is doing all around the world!
There has never been a time in all history that the gospel is an will be shared in every nation~! And where people are reaching out to those who have been over looked.
There will be many challenges up ahead this year, but it will be hugely fruitful to Gods kingdom:)
Prasie God... that He looks in the heart of man an see's the possible then, goes ahead an calls him/her to it! For his glory~

2010!!!! lets rock:) For the Lord!

whom shall i fear?

So it seems as if everything i look or hear about latley are talking bout the heart.

I think its really important to live from it, i'm definately tired right now but to plainly state whats on my elbow is;

Why is it easy to live from the mind, and the state of doing, instead of listening to your heart.

Sure the heart can be decieving but when i say listen to your heart its more then just on directions in what to do or not.

But the roots to why you choose what you do or not..

Gosh i feel like i'm going in a circle~

To loose grasp of your heart can lead u to be a walking iron rod, running into what ever and doing what ever, despite the fact that the people you walk over or run into have importance and may even be the answer to questions you would have never known, or found a certain opinon on.
Hm
I was reading a book on called waking the dead, by John eldridge, its great but a wake up call to the faint at heart.
It's challenging me move towards what the Lord has put in my heart, an my purpose to live from it~

I get so mad sometiems when i become numb to my own heart~
I guess i definately am not one of those walking rods, but some times when i'm having a hard time with someone or something, i numb my heart perhaps pushing it away will make it all better right, but really makes it in a bigger mess. As conflict can either be a door of growth or a downward tunnel of pain.

I remember the famous tin man on wizard of oz, all he wanted was a heart:)
He just wanted to feel- Yet bc of the wicked witch she made his life misserable an didn't want him to be happy~
I think this reminds me of Satan, and his plans for pretty much everyone, he either wants your life to suck as you try to live for Christ, or he wants you to be pretty happy while you spiritually die in the state of there is no God. how much more happier could Satan be right..

I guess what i'm tryin to say is, if life isn't going to be all rosy, we need to have a heart that is willing to put up a fight for at least the rain to create more roses:)
if that makes sence...

To be brave at heart.. means surrendering to a great cause, other then your self. To live an love for the hope of a Jesus to do miricles in places in which seems so dark an impossible.
To be brave at heart to me means living a life of considering yours, Gods and other hearts~ and living to walk beside them in partnership to be the move of the greater good:)

I know Gods heart is by far the bravest< i can only just believe He would use my faint heart to become more like his=brave

gotta love dreams baba!

I had a dream a few nights ago. It was the most beautiful dream i ever experianced... I just thought ide share the beauty, depsite what happen in the dream!

I was drining in a car, by a ocean... while in the ocean were huge sparkeling flowing water falls in the back ground!
While dolphins jumping all around:)
Driving more i saw the most beautiful sunset i could even imagine- was like reds, violets, orange yellows, with the perfect surroundings:)
It was awesome!~ There was totaly peace.......... The person in the car with me, is someone, i have a hard time with alot and I felt like Jesus was showing me the promise of peace. Whether its hard now... in the future there wil be total peace. Where we can experiance God love an peace together, depsite the things on earth that try to tear each other apart;)
Or perhaps, maybe its possible now to have this great peace...?