whole hearted~!

Do u ever feel like u need to get hit on the head with a bamboo stick?
sorta like what the crazy monkey guy did in lion king..lol random

I feel like i was hit tonight~ Ger.....................
I wish i wasn't so lame at beliving the things of God~

So The Lord has been speaking me about a few different things , 'what i tihink as big things'.. yet i've been putting them aside, thinking that won't happen or maybe someother time, doesn't look good right now.
while then seeking him for more of the picture!!! How lame am i right~ Seriously lame ASS, an i never even say that!
I guess i'm just beating myself up for not being obediant! Like yes GOd to the things that are ssmall an seem possible, but wait GOd.. on the things that seem too big, or out of my mind~

Like hello did GOd not part the sea~

3 years ago during a worship session in Kona, i was praying to God about the bible outreach that was coming up, an whether i was going to the right place, an how the hec the money was going to show up..:) Just one of those places of dependency, an hunger for GOds voice:) Me going to thailand seems sorta huge especially having no money at the time:)
While at the end of worship the Holy SPirit was really encouraging me to believe and trust.. i was on my knees jsut surrendering and as i opened my eyes,.. there laying in front of me was bamboo of a tree.. No joke in the middle of the Ohana court in front of me was bamboo little peices~@!!! Right away i felt like God was reassuring me of his promise, that when he speaks something He's will make it happen:) In thailland, the phillipine an indonesia i saw bamboo~
I knew God was encouraging me through a small miricle...i mean where else did it come from? No one else had any!

Oh an you bet... will God let me run away from his call to me on this sorta big event~
Hec no... though i seem to ignore it, i mentioned it to a freind tonight>an he of course:) reassured me of the good old, "sometimes God calls you to do really big things, bc He wants to do the impossible..."
Okay isn't this what my life has al been about-
Why did i have to hear from soemone else to let it seek into my heart!

Ger.. i'm disapointed with my lack of faith! Yet I pray that GOd would let me have huge faith to move your kingdom, when he gives me opportunity to use it, an i ignore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm totatly a loser right now:)

LOL okay over it now... but seriously... WHy do i or people have to go in circles instead of going toward the target^
I know i have avery western mind set, where if u want something u say yes or no. Unlike some places saying yes first is inpolite an even sayin no 3 times can be showing respect. But hello. me not in india! Nor does GOd work that way!( or does he..hm)

Cut to the chase. Follow God an seek him for what he's put on your heart an mind. Never let a yellow flower get away unsmelled it may just have the scent to heal the nantions.......(that was a very deep statement) hehe

anyhow.. i havn't blogged for awhile.. neat things have been happening and I'm realizing more an more- That god is in control!
That the moments that seem random usually arn't, and the way to change your heart is to understand GOds~

- Oh lastly.. the 3rd coolest thing i ever saw happen when i was there for my sisters birth~ I love the state of birth, not quite for me:) but seeing how Life begins, an GOds complex creation in it all id brilliant... Gosh He's so dang smart!~

I also have been mum for a couple days while sister wasin hospital... i loved watching my nephew, despite his crazy energy an putin his hand in my cherrios.. He is a delight to hang with. I love that he's so free, an has so much love an joy:)

Randomly... i was upset with something someone said to me early in the morning, an hadn't processed it all day.. now all of sudden my lil nephew became anoying to me...( an this is so not like my character) So i asked GOd, Lord why am i so upset anoyed at this little wild child... Then The Lord showed me what was really anoying me... the statement someone said to me earlier.. I knew i dind't delt with it an no was effectin how i felt bout my lil prince - So i began to to say a prayer of forgiveness to this person, an despite what they said was mean an not in love, i needed ot forgive them! It was sorta sad, bc i love this person very much an to see them hurt me an not even care, was anoying~ BUt i knew that Jesus doesn't want me to carry that pain... SO i gave it to him- Right then, i sorta had a tear or too:) an my nephew(1.5yrs) came running to me with toilets paper!!!!!! And put it in my face:) It was the most beautiful thing ever, how the hec did he pull that off!.. not sure especally the bathroom not being very close by either! but just for the first time experiance sympathy from a lil baby boy~
I knew that if Jesus was visibly there he'd b doing thesame thing. God understand the hard emotions an what it takes to forgive those who wronged u! an i have to remember it's bc of his grace an love that i can forgive....
Not saying i'm perfect an never harmed anyone but~ i just really appreciate How God desires us to be free from the things that hold us down! & So we can live freely:)
the end of the story goes, i all of the suden was released from this irratance, an was all aboat playing with the lil guy:) Whole heartedly~
Okay the end~!